Now you see them, Now you don’t !

During the course of sessions on counselling and therapy , I have observed that when I get a client with a particular issue , more clients with a similar issue keep turning up . It’s like a trend for that season . Last season I came across a number of women who felt that people around them – friends , family, spouse, etc did not understand them and therefore they got into a state of agitation over their differences . This time round , it’s a spate of people who are burdened with the grief of a dying relationship . There was this teenager who was heart-broken and another one in the 20s who was jilted by a lover . Then again the middle aged 35-something who fell out with the siblings , and someone with the very common in-laws’ saga and yet again one in the 60+ category who was harbouring anger towards the family . No matter at what age one encounters a degeneration in relationships , the pain, the grief, the anger , the resentment , the fears and the tears are all the same .

Have you ever wondered why perfectly good relationships just fizzle out ? And on the other hand , sometimes have you had the good fortune to marvel at why we forge friendships and bondings with people whom we hardly know ? We build relationships – we rejoice . We fall out with someone – we mourn the loss . Like everything else, relationships too , perhaps have an expiry date . This might seem an odd thing to say . Because we have been taught since time immemorial that relationships are for keeps . Forever types . But experience teaches us that nothing in this world is permanent . Except ,  maybe change . Change is the only constant in life . If this is true for everything else , then perhaps it is true also for  relationships ?

More often than not , when a relationship ends , we feel a sense of loss . We tend to get overly emotional and equate it with the end of our lives . But is that really so ? Does life STOP being LIFE , when someone walks out of our lives ? Not at all . But we assume it does . We behave like it is the end of the world . This happens , only because we are habituated to having that person in our life . Be it a quarrel which tears parents and children apart , be it a mis-understanding between friends that creates a rift between them or a clash of egos and rights between siblings or perhaps the betrayal by a partner , lover , spouse . When someone behaves in a manner that is not in tandem with our own interests , we gradually move apart . Eventually the relationship loses its sparkle . It begins to die . It becomes non-existent . And then we are heart broken , we become bitter , we blame the other party . We lose faith in relationships.

But can we choose to become better instead of bitter ?  Yes we can !  The obvious thing others tell us to do is LET GO . Let go of the person , the pain and move on with our lives . But is that all ?  Is it enough to move on ?  Ah yes  , forgive them , you say ? Yes that too . So in short , just shrug that part of our lives , accept it as our destiny and move on . Right ? Or is there more ?


Read the above post carefully. Give it some thought .  There will always be a reason why you meet people. Either you need them to change your life or you’re the one who will change theirs . You could  spice up your existing relations , add a new sparkle to them , learn to make them better .   In life , you will realise  that there is a role for everyone you meet . Some will test you . Some will use you . Some will love . Some will hate you . Some will look up to you , while others might hold you in contempt . Some come into our lives as blessings. Others come as lessons . Each new person coming into our lives brings with him or her new feelings , new challenges , new experiences . That is why any new relationship in the initial stages is wonderful  and exciting . Once we have had our quota of those experiences , we move on to newer friendships , newer bondings. However there are also lessons to be learnt from all our liaisons or connections. If we fail to learn the life lessons that our relations were meant to teach us , then we are likely to encounter the same issues and hardships again and yet again . And life continues to stagnate and stink . It is up to us to realise this and let go of our old patterns of thought , behaviours , actions and reactions. Ask yourself, what was I meant to learn from this relationship ? How can I now use to this to make myself a better person ?

People also come into our lives , for a season . Even if it be for a short period of time , they still help us to become who we are . We can choose to  then decide who , WE , want to become . Better or Bitter ?  Make positive changes in our life or blame the other party  and harbour anger, resentment, hatred and revengeful feelings ?  Sometimes we hopefully , try to fix or repair situations and relationships . This may work or may not . If it does not ,  then just accept it and move on . Know , that God’s plans for you are always for your highest good. You may not see the wisdom of it yet , but you will – later . Because the moment you surrender to God’s will , everything just keeps falling into place . It may not be what you WANTED , but be assured that it is definitely what God thinks you NEEDED. Once you come to understand this , you will see your life becoming better everyday .

Sometimes we want to help others who , we think , are on the wrong path. But then that is our perception. We really don’t know what God’s plans for them are . Neither,  should we interfere in their karmas . We could choose to be around them until the time is right . Just in case they need our help. But don’t be disappointed if your hopes get shattered .  When watching from the wings , we need to be careful , not to get drawn into their drama . Be on our guard at all times , so as to not let it  all , adversely affect our personal growth .  After all , our relationship with our creator is far superior than any other relationship that we may forge on this earth . Therefore , we owe it to our creator to become better  human beings . All those who are on the same path as you , will gladly accept your help and continue to walk with you . Others will simply disappear .  Know whom to keep and whom to let go .

Then there will be those who do not understand us .  Or those who choose to pursue a different line of thought . Eventually they will find reasons to move away from us . These reasons could manifest in the form of misunderstandings , arguments or yet again playing the blame game. Let go .  Because they are no longer on the same vibrational wavelength as us any more. Just like the way we tune out of a radio channel that does not match the frequency we are looking for . BELIEVE , that those on the same vibrational frequency as us will come into our life. That is the law of the universe. A tree must shed its old dried leaves in season of autumn ,  to make room for new leaves to grow in the spring of life. Know who is not meant to be with you and also those who will nourish your life purpose .

So you see, when you LET GO , there is so much more to let go than just the person and the pain of separation . We have to let go of our perceptions , our righteousness, our old redundant beliefs, our damaging habits  and above all our EGO . We need to keep moving ahead towards a better future with FAITH that everything that happens , happens for our highest good . People outgrow people. Levels of consciousness become different . Equations change. And LIFE goes on. !!!

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